Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
