as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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