she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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