he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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