But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
