ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
