Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
P.S. I can't hear my feet
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
