is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
