i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
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