he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
