We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
