I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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