everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He keeps bees of course he's weird
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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