1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
