party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
