Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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