dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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