After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
