Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
