Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
