Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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