I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My pussy is not your playground.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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