So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
