Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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