I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
