I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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