he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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