i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
