hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize