You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
