Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
