Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
