well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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