You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
