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Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
