he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize