I think scott just propositioned me for sex
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
