Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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