I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
