So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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