And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
