i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
