Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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