You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
