if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Your cock deserves a montage
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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