glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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