Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
