After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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