I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
So squirting runs in the family.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Randomize
