belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
