I'm gonna have a badass scar
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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