Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Couch. On fire.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize