I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The beer is more important than you right now.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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