Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
