Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
