God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize