Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just googled if crying burns calories
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
