His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
