Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Will exercising make me less horny?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
