Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
