Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize