Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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