is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
