Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
